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Why don’t we say what we actually feel? You may think that you do or most of the time you stand up for yourself and say what you actually feel. How about when you’ve just said yes but didn’t really want too? What about the times you have nodded in agreement with someone. However this was not what we actually feel about said conversation? Maybe your going along with the crowd. Family, friends even work colleagues just because you did not want to speak up.
This is very a common problem amongst many of us. We directly have this amazing ability of self-suppression. No one is telling us not to be true to our feelings yet we somehow manage this. Consistently suppressing our feelings by not saying what we actually feel.
WHY NOT SAYING WHAT WE ACTUALLY FEEL IS A PROBLEM
So, you may say “oh it was nothing, it didn’t bother me that much” and in saying this you may be right. However, every time you do this you are in fact causing a direct detriment to your own bank of feelings. This behaviour is the harbouring ground for things like, resentment, anxiety, stress and cortisol levels rising. Our overall health does suffer due to emotions that are not released. The incidents start with something so small and we brush it off. Over time the build-up causes emotional blockages that we are not even aware of. Until we stop doing this and start to say what we actually feel.
For those of you who know a bit about the law of attraction and our vibration. Well then you can only imagine the impact its having on our vibrational energy level! For those of you that do not know about the law of attraction. I highly recommend heading over to Melody Fletchers website Deliberate receiving. “Where the universe finally makings some freakin’ sense!” That’s her tag line by the way amazing. There is an abundance of information on the subject and she is also one of the top self–development gurus of today.
NOT BEING TRUE TO OURSELVES
When I was a kid, I did this often I was not true to myself. I always suppressed feelings, you can talk about the big things that bother you. However we are talking about things that you “put up with” why do we do it? Your best friend from 10 years won’t mind if your interests are different now. You don’t have to keep going to the gatherings to watch football or the girly nights out if you don’t enjoy it anymore. Instead you just want to put your feet up and read a book.
Your sisters will deal with you not being so little anymore and you speaking up when you disagree with their way of thinking. Mum and Dad will not disown you if you decide to go and live in a different country millions of miles away because you want to explore more in life.
The more you become self-conscious of your thoughts and feelings and take action that suits you internally rather than the external world the freer you become. It’s like breathing for the first time except you didn’t realise you had stopped breathing in the first place.
STARTING SMALL IS KEY
Start with the small things that you put up with. Like being on that phone call for hours when you’ve got a ton of things you would rather be doing. Start with honesty in yourself and abide by it. The more you do this the healthier you become. Over time not being truly authentic towards ourselves can cause major health issues. Modern science is starting to put together the emotional and psychical body imbalance and how these imbalances effect our mental and psychical health and well-being.
Not listening to our true feelings even on the smallest scale can have major effects on our heart over the long term. This has been recorded as we can now measure the effects feelings and emotions have on our heart. It is also found that the heart functions like our brain but is far more powerful and complex. If your mind is fed negativity the results will be negative. If your heart is fed negative emotion the results will be negative.
DO YOUR FEELINGS MEAN LESS THAN THEIRS?
Now here’s a question worth a billion. Do our feelings mean nothing compared to the other person? It’s not just one other person is it, it’s a whole bunch of people we consistently behave this way with. We are at the end of the line when it comes to ourselves and our feelings they just don’t seem to mean as much when it comes to the rest of the world. Can we try to put ourselves first now and again I don’t think this is a big ask, do you?
You would be surprised to know that many people do believe this is a big ask. Why? Because you just don’t want to upset them. It will always be this way because your children (even when they are grown up), mum & dad, your friends and siblings will always feel a certain way if you do things YOUR way and not theirs. Of course, you must do things the way everyone else wants or else you look bad or hurt them.
Can I just state here, YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR FEELINGS. That’s right repeat that a fair few times until it sinks into your subconscious. You will never ever be responsible for anyone’s feelings other than your own.
TRYING TO KEEP OTHERS FROM FEELING UPSET
No matter how hard you try you are not able to keep upset at bay for other people. You are unable to decide how another can feel at any given time and therefore you are not able to take responsibility for this. Everyone in this world is responsible for their own feelings because we decide at any given time what we will choose to feel. If we decide to give something the meaning of bad, then that is a choice and we can choose to shift those feelings at any given moment.
Expecting others to make us feel better won’t work and us thinking we can make others feel better won’t work either. In order for us to be completely and truly happy we have to own our feelings at all times and this includes saying what we actually feel at all given times. As we do this we open doors to a happier us, as we are true to ourselves we then start doing things that make us feel good and vibe high.
THE 30-DAY CHALLENGE
The 30-day challenge is to try and get you to think about your emotions and feelings at every opportunity for at least 30 days. The difference in your happiness is major. As you pay attention to detail in yourself notice the subtle feel good changes that start to take place. Instead of someone inviting you for dinner and you agreeing and then lamenting in your mind for hours before how you don’t want to go just say no. Go with your feelings there’s only one you! The changes will be subtle but you will find all levels of anxiety start to decrease you will naturally feel happier and you will fill your time with things that make you feel good. Please don’t replace one no with another yes that doesn’t feel good.
See how far you can go in putting yourself first. If you enjoyed reading this post, please like and share on Facebook or follow me on twitter. You can also subscribe for my weekly updates at the bottom of the page.
Thank you for reading. Until next time
Love Z xxx