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It’s been a few weeks I’ve been tied up with events of life that were fairly unexpected. Born from these events is this title and todays lessons. Stay with me we are in for an awakening of the good kind not the rude kind!
Uncertainty is an uncomfortable position but it doesn’t have to be a negative position. Not knowing exactly how your future will plan out or if you will get the income you want in the next few years is OK.
Often in life we face uncertain situations and we are unable to leap into the future and see the outcome. Not having this superpower leaves us feeling diminished in some way and fearful of our future outcomes.
Why do you assume uncertainty is a negative? If you were uncertain about the way but knew any which outcome was going to be for your greater good and this you knew as fact, would being uncertain still make you feel fearful? Chances are not.
Uncertainty is an uncomfortable position but that’s it UNCOMFORTABLE. Ever had a cold? That’s uncomfortable, have you ever needed the loo really crossing your legs waiting for the facilities to vacate? That’s uncomfortable. Slightly tight clothing anyone? Yes, that is also uncomfortable after the few extra holiday pounds.
Did you deal with this feeling, of course you did. That feeling is the same familiar feeling that fills you when you are fearful of not succeeding in your endeavours. Why does this feeling now have such a big no no attached to it? Because of the meaning you now place on it, the meaning has changed but the feeling remains the same.
GIVING THE DISCOMFORT LESS OF A MEANING
This one exercise alone can diminish so many feelings of fear and anxiety about uncertain futures and tomorrows. If you don’t get that raise what is the worst that can happen? You don’t get that bigger house/car, grander holiday until the year after. Does delay mean never or just delay?
Why must you allocate such a heavy meaning to certain things that you want in life. Again, uncertainty is an uncomfortable position but it is highly unlikely it will kill you.
You on the other hand might give yourself high blood pressure and consistent migraines. You must assign less of a value on these ever-changing circumstances, its ok that things didn’t work out exactly to plan.
EXERCISE – Break down the worst that can happen realistically not the far-fetched idea that your monkey mind wants you to believe. Then ask yourself uncertainty is an uncomfortable position but can I move on from this point and be ok?
How many times have you thought of the worst possible outcome and it come to fruition. Never!
ITS NEVER SET IN STONE ITS JUST A GUIDED PATH
You can think that you are certain about different future outcomes but that is what you foolishly allow yourself to believe. Don’t get me wrong if you plan and work towards something you will inevitably meet it. This does not mean there will not be hurdles and the direct path your mind has thought out for you will not take a detour.
You know only of a very few ways that will lead you to your destination, when things get shaken up around you and you become uncertain that doesn’t mean the settling after the shaking will not be in your favour.
All that is being done is you are being re-routed so that you meet your goal in an easier and more efficient way. Sometimes you could be delayed or made to wake up and look at something this sort of waking up is where something has to be slammed in your face from the universe for you to pay the attention that is needed.
This may not look great to you but can be the very thing needed at times to save you going the harder way about things or to put you on a more direct route.
EXERCISE – The next time you think you’re going off course because something stopped you and moved you in a different direction don’t fight it. Try and be patient and go with it to see where its taking you. You will find in most cases the result was always what you wanted, it just came in a different way with a possible delay.
DOES IT HAVE TO BE IN YOUR TIME FRAME?
You were talking to some friends or reading some incredible content on self-development such as this blog post. Out of nowhere you’re ready to take on the world, make drastic changes do a complete U – Turn in life.
You start challenging yourself to do better, one of the things you were going to start doing is to start making more money and add a side business or go self-employed completely.
Within say 10 to 12 weeks you start burning out from that original momentum and you’re not seeing those results you had hoped for. The uncertainty starts setting in and the doubt gets stronger. Is it time to give up? Is it going to be a negative outcome and that’s a given? NO.
How can you even predict that? Just because it’s not happening within a time frame you have come up with, does not mean your new-found idea will not come to fruition. In this time, there is much to learn, there are ever subtle things that are building the foundation for your future goal. These will be needed to make sure you can deal with what lies ahead.
Uncertainty is an uncomfortable position for you to be in. However, remember it’s a feeling that can be dealt with quickly with the right perspective.
EXERCISE – Next time things are not working for you, within your time frame. Give yourselves a moment and try to switch your perspective and see things from a better view-point. Question your own doubt with things like, what am I learning right now? What has changed for me for the better since I started this journey? Will I be better equipped if I wait a little longer to face future challenges.
IF IT WAS ALL FOR CERTAIN, LIFE WOULD BECOME MEANINGLESS
What if you knew for certain everything would turn out the way you wanted it? No surprises no drawbacks nothing. Just plain sailing and everything was easy and nothing was challenging. Would you continue to be happy or would you become bored and complacent?
Would you push yourself to become stronger wiser or more knowledgeable?
Bill Gates famously quoted
“once you get beyond a million dollars, it’s all the same hamburger”
This is a billionaire saying that wanting to become a billionaire is over rated why? Because once your there you still have to eat, drink, look after your health deal with your finances and go through life in general. You still have to get up get dressed and show up.
Only because the rich have more money does not mean they cannot lose all of it in a heartbeat if they don’t practice discipline and how to grow and manage their life. Uncertainty is part and parcel of life. It’s how you react to uncertainty and whether or not we can take it in our stride.
The super achievers in the world become comfortable with uncomfortable because nothing is a certainty in life. It’s not here forever, we have to change gears and keep going.
You have to grow to get to the next level. If it was all handed on a silver platter you wouldn’t strive for things you would give up because you wouldn’t be bothered. Who wants hardship when everything is around the corner with ease?
EXERCISE – Accept the pain of growing and not knowing. Welcome challenges and see what they have to offer before thinking it’s the worst outcome for you. This worst outcome or delay could be the best growth spurt needed so you don’t make bigger mistakes that could crush you later.
HOW MUCH PAIN DO YOU WANT TO ASSIGN?
This may seem an odd question, but how much pain do you want to assign to not achieving said goal. Or being uncertain of the way that a goal will come to fruition?
Why does the way (if different from your well thought out plan) cause pain if the end result is the same? Why does delay cause any pain? Have you been to a doctor’s appointment and were called in late, have you queued in a very busy supermarket. These are all time delays but how painful do you deem them? A delay is a delay whether large or small you still get what you want in the end.
The pain associated with this delay is the real hold over you. Where is pain created, in the mind? Are you in control of your mind and pre-conceived ideas or does someone else do the thinking for you?
You of course have full control over every thought which precedes the feeling of pain. The pain comes from the idea that something has to be bad or negative. Why an earth are you creating pain for yourself!
EXERCISE – Next time an event occurs and your left reeling with uncertainty measure the amount of pain your willing to assign to this uncertainty. What sort of level is this, how does it feel and is it even up there with your list of worst pains. You will find in most cases the pain you assigned was nowhere near the level in which it should have been.
Always spend time re-evaluating feeling’s after something did not go according to plan and left you in that uncertainty is an uncomfortable position. You will find that you can always dilute the initial feeling of fear and doubt almost immediately after it occurs.
IN CLOSING . . .
Life will often throw you in waves of uncertainty that certainly is uncomfortable, however remind yourself often that it’s a feeling that you control. You control your emotions and your pain thresholds. Only because something does not go the way you planned or in the exact order you have laid out does not mean you will not reach the end result.
If life keep’s throwing up hurdles, that’s not a solid brick wall it’s just a hurdle you jump over. In some case’s you will smash straight through them. You will notice the less you resist these uncertainty’s the clearer the path gets. This is not some formed idea, this is psychology. Once the mind relaxes into a space of being ok with uncertain outcomes then answers find their way in easier.
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Until next time,